


5 Kisses that matter, and 1 that matters a little more

by Namu_imnida



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Fluff, Honestly it's just a short fluffy thing nothing special, Kisses, M/M, Stray Kids show mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-30
Updated: 2019-10-30
Packaged: 2021-01-13 10:34:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21242678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Namu_imnida/pseuds/Namu_imnida
Summary: It’s no big deal, it’s no big deal, he keeps telling himself.---Apparently he was wrong.





	5 Kisses that matter, and 1 that matters a little more

Changbin hasn’t ever thought that Felix would be so… bold. Obviously, he was very courageous – moving 8324km to chase a dream not many will actually achieve in their lives required some major balls in Changbin’s opinion – but asking him for a kiss in front of running cameras is in a way the most impressive thing Changbin has ever seen him do. And he would lie if he says he isn’t a nervous wreck at that moment, staring at Felix half in disbelief and half in fond exasperation.

He couldn’t help the laugh leaving him, and then he is standing up to kneel next to Felix. He is very aware of Minho next to them, all the staff and the _cameras_. But at the same time, he isn’t aware of anything besides Felix nervous laughter and his voice dripping with disbelief, when he’s asking, “Hyung, are you doing it for real?” And he is asking himself _am I doing this for real?_

Before he can question his decision any further Changbin grabs Felix neck with both hands to stop him from squirming. “Stay still!”, he orders Felix, trying to convey his annoyance.

_ Annoyance _ that is the reason his heart is racing, and his palms are sweating.

He steels himself, tries so hard not to grin – although he knows that he’s failing miserably – and then he presses his lips to Felix’s cheek. Distantly he registers Felix screaming into his Bluetooth mic, but it’s not nearly as loud as his own internal screaming.

_ It’s no big deal, it’s no big deal _ , he keeps telling himself, he’s done more than cheek kisses with people he liked more than Felix – but it’s _Felix, _adorable, funny, stupidly bolt Felix, and his lips are _tingling_, and his heart is still _racing_.

When Changbin let’s go, he remembers that they’re filming for a broadcast, so he throws himself dramatically on the ground. Felix’s reaction isn’t any less dramatic and Minho is laughing gleefully in the background – that asshole, he should really be thankful that Felix had the insane idea to choose himself instead of Minho – but he’s mostly busy to deal with his revelation, before he can face the camera again.

\---

There have been many times in Changbin’s life when he has been exhausted – just for this damn survival show there were more nights he’d forgone sleep than he’d care to count. But somehow, he feels like he has hit a new record.

Preparing for the finale has been hell, the finale itself had been a few hours of pure adrenaline pumping through his veins – his body definitely is at his limit. He had spent some time with his family directly afterwards, but he and his members had ultimately gathered in their dorm to celebrate together. But even that had been short lived – Changbin wasn’t the only one at his limit.

A short time after he fell into bed, he’s waking up again, his throat sore and begging for some water.

With a groan he heaves himself up and pads into the kitchen as silent as possible. The dorm is still completely dark and quiet, and knowing the others it will stay that way for long after sunrise.

His mind is blank, still too tired to catch up with reality – that’s why it takes some time to register the noise coming from the living room. His arm stops in the motion of putting the bottle down and he strains his ears. And indeed – he hears a small sniffling.

Changbin’s heart drops.

Going into the living room he is reminded that it wasn’t the physical exhaustion that had made this day so hard – he had been this tired before, and he can deal with it somehow. But his mind doesn’t know what to do with the sheer amount of emotions this day had brought him.

Not only this day – ever since Minho’s elimination he’d been eaten by guilt and stress, plus the need to look like he’s having fun on camera. And Felix’s elimination had only worsened all of that, way more than he’d ever admit to anyone. It was a wonder that he hadn’t been full sobbing earlier, when the relief had hit him.

And apparently he isn’t the only one who feels the need to cry after all of that.

Although it’s dark Changbin can see the person sitting on their couch, curled into a ball, making his small frame look even smaller.

“Oh, Felix,” he sighs, partly so that he doesn’t scare the younger, partly because he has to let at least a tiny bit of that heavy feeling out of his chest. When Changbin himself feels overwhelmed by emotion, he can’t even begin to imagine how it must be for Felix.

Felix looks into his direction, but doesn’t move, just watches Changbin approaching him. Without thinking about it too much Changbin slides into the spot next to the younger and puts his arms around him. Felix immediately leans onto him, his head coming to rest on Changbin’s shoulder. He isn’t crying, but the grip on Changbin’s shirt is shaking a little.

“Why aren’t you in your bed?” Changbin asks into the quiet.

Felix seems a little surprised at his voice, but answers equally quiet, “I didn’t want to wake the others.”

Changbin hums. He isn’t the slightest bit surprised that Felix thought of the others even in this situation.

“I hope those are good tears?”

“I-“ Felix tenses in his hold. “Is it bad that I’m not sure?”

“No, it’s fine. Take your time to sort your feelings out.”

After that they sit in silence for a while, and Changbin’s body would probably yield to the exhaustion, if he wasn’t paying so much attention to every tiny move Felix makes.

In the end the younger speaks again. “Hyung?”

“Hm?”

“Would you- Would you mind sleeping here tonight?”

Changbin sighs involuntarily. “No, Felix, I don’t mind.”

They shift a little until they can more or less comfortably lie next to each other, and Changbin grabs the throw blanket and drapes it over them.

Like this they’re not really cuddling anymore, just sharing the same space and heat, but Felix seems to have calmed down and that is everything that counts.

“I’m glad we made it together,” Felix whispers, his eyes closed, his face finally relaxed.

Changbin smiles. “I’m glad to,” he answers, but Felix’s breath has already deepened.

And Changbin is hit with another wave of feelings. For no reason he is suddenly reminded of their day in the park, the childish kiss on the cheek – and he is overwhelmed with the thought of _Felix_ and _he will be right next to me_. The prospect of years together makes a whole different kind happiness rise in his chest. And in a spurt of gratitude and pride he leans forward a little, pressing the smallest kiss to Felix’s forehead.

“Good night, Lix”, he mutters into the dark, and finally lets his body rest.

\---

The small space they were assigned to is at the same time bustling with energy and completely silent. There are last minute preparations going on everywhere, but all members are too nervous to do much.

It’s finally the day of their debut stage.

During various moments during the day Changbin felt a little like he has to throw up, but so far he’s happy that he – and everyone else, as far as he knows – could keep his food inside. _It’s just a stage_, he continues to tell himself. _You’ve done this before_.

He watches his members silently mouthing words to themselves, going over lyrics again and again, or doing small versions of their choreography to remind themselves of the steps. And then they’re being called on stage.

Watching their sunbaes on stage just before it’s their turn calms him down and stresses him out at the same time. It stresses him because _oh god, I have to go up there in a second_, but on the same time he knows that they can do this. They’re good, they’ve practiced so hard just for this and one step of their dream will finally come true.

Around him his members don’t seem to do much better, but his gaze is especially drawn to Felix, and how he keeps opening and closing his hands, in a way that Changbin knows means to calm him down.

He takes the few steps to stand next to him. “Felix”, he calls quietly for his attention.

The younger doesn’t react and, just continues to mutter something and quite honestly, he looks like he’s about to have a panic attack.

“Felix”, he tries again, grabbing the other’s hand.

As if on instinct Felix links their fingers, but doesn’t even look at him, doesn’t even seem to have noticed it.

Changbin’s forehead creases in worry. Leaving Felix to his own thoughts and worries isn’t really an option he wants to consider. Last time that happened was before their busking, and… well.

But Felix doesn’t react to him at all, his eyes fixated on the stage. He keeps squeezing Changbin’s hand, and his breath goes a little faster than it probably should.

Changbin has to think of something.

And he has an idea. It’s a little weird, and how does he even get a weird idea like this, like _seriously this is weird_-

Changbin lifts the hand, which is still interlaced with his own, to his lips and presses a kiss on the soft skin. He stays like this, until Felix turns around and stares at him with wide eyes.

_ What the hell am I thinking? _

He quickly drops the hand (put still keeps it in his own) and clears his throat. He wants to say something, but Felix is still staring at him in shock and his _stupid heart is racing_.

“Stop overthinking”, he manages after another second. “We worked so hard for this. We can do this.”

Felix seems to be shaken out of his staring, drops his gaze to their hands and looks up again. He smiles a little. “I know, I’m just super nervous. I can’t help it.”

“I’m nervous too.” He squeezes Felix hand a little. “But we’re gonna rock this stage.”

Felix smile gets a little shaky and he looks down again. His next words are so quiet that Changbin nearly misses them. “What if I mess up again?”

Changbin shrugs. “Then Hyung will just be extra cool to distract everyone.”

It takes a moment of silence, but then Felix is laughing, his whole face getting that beautiful glow that is just so Felix. His eyes become crescents and the tension, Changbin hadn’t even noticed bothering him, just melts away.

“Ok, Hyung, I’m counting on you.”

\---

Sometimes Changbin thinks they’re trained to perform even while sleeping. They train so often and so long until their bodies do the movements without even thinking about it. _That’s probably the goal_, he thinks, while he’s doing another turn.

It’s towards the end of another run of their new choreo for “My Pace” – he’s long lost count, but he knows it’s somewhere around 2AM – when he hears a body hitting the floor. He hates how familiar he is with the sound, but it’s not rare that one of them slips.

They all stop, turning around to where Felix fell down. Chan is the quickest to crouch next to him. “You’re alright?”

To all of their relief Felix immediately sits up and nods. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Didn’t hit your head or anything?”

“No, just scraped my knee a little.”

The “a little” turns out to be a huge scrape on his leg, blood running down. But it doesn’t seem to be too bad at first glance, so Changbin sighs in relief. It’s still a few weeks until their comeback, but of course they all want to be healthy then. And of course he wants Felix to be healthy all the time.

They all wait, some sitting down on the floor to rest a little, while Chan moves Felix’s leg around to make sure it’s really just scraped. “Well, let’s clean this up and then we can go home. The rest of you can leave for tonight.”

Some more or less enthusiastic “Yay”s sound through the room as everybody start to pack up.

Changbin stares a little longer at the two of them – and makes one of his weird decisions again. “Producer-hyung still wanted to talk with you”, he says, stepping next to Chan.

Chan’s face scrunches up for a second, and he sighs. “Damn, I forgot about that.” For a second he looks to Felix, seemingly conflicted about how to proceed.

“Just go, Chan-hyung. I’ll take care of Felix.”

“Yeah, will you do that? That’d would really help.”

Felix interrupts them, snorting from where he’s still sitting on the floor. “I can do this myself, you know? It’s not that dramatic.”

When Jisung walks past them, he bends down and pats Felix’s shoulders. “Stop protesting and just enjoy it, Lix”, he teases.

Felix mutters something that suspiciously sounds like “shut up”, but he’s mumbling, so Changbin isn’t too sure. Apparently everything is handled in Chan’s opinion, because he just bids the room good night and leaves.

Changbin and Felix stare at each other a little awkwardly, before Changbin bends down and holds his hand out. “Come on, let’s get that cleaned up.” He helps Felix up, who snorts a little, when his arm is pulled across Changbin’s shoulder.

“It’s really not that bad, hyung, I can walk on my own.”

“You said that already,” Changbin answers. He ignores his comment and instead pays attention to Felix’s expression. “Does your leg hurt if you tread on it?”

Felix sighs. “Just a little.”

Just as they step out of the room Changbin suddenly has to support much more weight, as Felix basically slumps on him. He has to suppress a grunt but has no problems to continue walking.

“Jisung is right,” Felix says, a little giggle in his voice. “You have the perfect height for me to lean on, so I should just enjoy it.”

Changbin snorts a “You brat”, while he continues to half-walk, half-carry Felix to the bathrooms. “Sit on the counter,” he tells the younger and leaves for a moment, to get some stuff for his wound.

When he comes back Felix has already cleaned the blood from his leg and is softly dabbing at the scrape.

“Let me see for a second.” Changbin crouches in front of the younger. He sighs, when he sees that the wound is bigger than he expected. Slowly he continues Felix’s work of cleaning, before he starts disinfecting it.

He works in silence, while Felix is just watching him, his knee twitching now and then.

“You don’t have to always treat me like a child, you know?”

Changbin looks up from Felix’s leg, and finds the younger staring at his own hands, fiddling with his fingers. For a moment he can only focus on not grabbing it into his own. He is aware that he likes holding Felix’s hand, but the need has never been this intense.

Felix looks up at him, when he doesn’t answer for too long.

Changbin forces himself to laugh. “I’m not treating you like a child. I’m only treating you like a brat who can’t take care of himself.”

“Hyung, that’s mean. I only slipped a little.”

“And hurt yourself. You’re not allowed to hurt yourself.”

Changbin notices how that sounded the moment a wide smile is spreading on Felix’s face. “Are you worried about me, hyung?”

“You brat,”, he just answers, and goes back to taking care of the wound. “You can’t get hurt before our comeback.”

“Hmm… I think, you’re worried about me.”

And Changbin absolutely melts at the grin directed at him. He’s long given up denying the way his heart starts to race, when Felix is especially cute.

“I have an idea!” Felix exclaims, and Changbin has a bad feeling at the way his eyes are sparkling in mischief. “If you’re so worried about this effecting our comeback, you can help make it heal faster.”

“And how am I supposed to do that?”

Felix’s grin turns into a smirk, and Changbin’s stomach drops. “Kiss it better.”

And Changbin could never explain what happens in his head in that moment – maybe the whole reason is that it was completely empty. He leans forward and kisses the skin just underneath the wound. Even when he notices what he’s doing, he stays like that for a moment longer, before slowly leaning back. He doesn’t dare to look up.

“Let’s finish quickly so that we can go home.”

“Y-yeah, let’s do that.”

And when Felix’s sounds as breathless as Changbin feels nobody mentions anything.

\---

“Hyung, can you wait a second?”

It’s still early in the evening, but Changbin wants nothing more than to catch at least a few hours of sleep, before they have to go to Inkigayo. At Felix’s voice though he stops walking in the middle of the living room and turn around to the younger. “What is it?”

Felix is standing there a little awkwardly, looking everywhere but at him. Changbin obviously has the suspicion that it has something to do with his birthday. They have been busy with their promotion and the fansign, so that he barely got a calm minute with any of his members. But he wouldn’t have it any other way. Performing on his birthday has really been fulfilling.

“I wanted to give you your present”, Felix explains then, slowly walking towards him.

Changbin hums and takes what the younger is holding out to him. It’s a small keychain, a simple white stone dangling from it.

“It’s a quartz”, Felix continues, “it’s your birthstone, I looked it up. I know it’s not much, and you don’t really believe in stuff like that, but it’s supposed to give you energy and helps with stress and makes you calmer.”

A smile spreads on Changbin face, while he watches Felix fiddling with his own fingers.

“And as I said, I know it’s not really much, and I really wanted to get you more, but we didn’t really have time, and I should’ve gotten you something before we got that busy, but I didn’t really think of it, and I really hope you like it, but if you don’t that’s ok, and you don’t have to use it, and-“

As cute as Felix’s rambling is, Changbin doesn’t actually enjoy seeing him so nervous and insecure but getting him to stop once he starts to get into his own head and listens too much to his insecurities can be hard sometimes, so Changbin – once again – decides to take drastic measures. He leans forward into Felix’s space, and presses a small kiss onto the cute nose in front of him.

Felix’s stops in the middle of his sentences, his eyes turning big in shock and – to Changbin’s delight – a bright blush starts spreading on his cheeks immediately.

That Changbin’s own face feels just is red is something he decides to ignore for now.

“I like it a lot, thank you Felix. I will definitely use it.” He can’t help but smile fondly, when Felix’s face turns from shock, into a shy smile, and Changbin decides to cherish this little white stone forever.

\---

One would have to be blind to miss the spring in Felix’s step, the broad smile on his face, the energy he is vibrating with – just how happy he is. His happy aura easily affects the whole group, and despite the general exhaustion – their bodies still being 7 hours ahead of the actual time – it takes them a long while to all get settled into their own hotel rooms.

Changbin and Felix stay behind in their shared room, where the members had held a tiny birthday party for Felix – nothing wild, just them sitting together, letting the lingering energy of their performance disperse.

While Felix is still sorting his things – a small hum accompanying his every move – Changbin has already settled in bed, now watching the younger.

“You’re happy”, he observes after a moment. It isn’t a question, because of how obvious it is.

Felix looks up with a small “Hm?” before a wide grin spreads on his face. _Like a blooming flower,_ Changbin thinks to himself.

“Of course, I’m happy!” Felix continues, stopping Changbin from indulging in any more terrible cheesy thoughts. The younger is next to his bed in a few steps, jumping a little to sit next to him. “I just had an entire concert hall singing ‘Happy Birthday’ to me. And Stays were so loud during our performances, you barely noticed that we’re the rookies.”

Changbin snorts. “They still were louder during Exo. And Taemin. And Wanna One.”

“Of course, Hyung. But those are Exo, Taemin and Wanna One!”

Felix dramatically falls backwards, effectively flopping onto Changbin’s legs. It doesn’t look comfortable at all, but the younger makes no effort to move. He only glances up to Changbin, his eyes wide and somehow sparkling in the shitty hotel light. That, plus the whine in his voice – sometimes Changbin regrets that he isn’t writing cheesy love songs. He’s gathered enough material by now.

“Do you think we’ll be as popular as them someday, Hyung?”

“Hm.” The strands of Felix’s hair are soft between Changbin’s fingers, so he continues to run his hands through them. “I don’t think that’s important. As long as we can show people our music and move them emotionally, that’s all that counts. That, and that we’re happy.”

Felix makes some contemplative sound, but just continues to stare at the ceiling.

Changbin laments the fact that they couldn’t have this more often – quiet moments to just lay down and enjoy, without the urge to use the little free time they have for something useful. But with Felix these moments of peace always come easy.

Changbin is no fool, he knows what the comfortableness between them means, why Felix’s mere presence makes him so happy.

He can’t help but sigh. “We should sleep.”

Felix turns his head and just looks at him wordlessly for a moment. “You know Hyung, there’d be just one thing that could make me happier right now.”

“You mean sleep, Lix?”

“Hyung,” Felix whines, sitting up to turn around to him. “Just indulge me for a short moment. Please?”

Changbin can’t help the small smile, but makes sure to sigh extra hard, to drown out the way his heart suddenly stutters as he sees the younger’s pout. “Ok, ok. What would make you even happier, Lix?”

Felix licks his lips, clearly nervous, his eyes darting around before finally looking back at him again. “A kiss.”

A beat of silence passes between them.

“A- What?”

“A kiss.”

If Changbin wasn’t so focused on the way his cheeks start to burn in a blush, he would’ve noticed the same happening to Felix.

The younger continues talking. “You know, I’ve noticed that you’ve kissed me in a lot of places, but never on the lips, and since it’s my birthday I thought, why not be brave, but if I misunderstood you have to tell me, I don’t want to pressure you into anything-“

Changbin only hears half of what Felix is saying, his whole thoughts focused on _He wants to kiss me! _His attention zeros onto Felix’s lips and how pretty they are, how they move while he’s talking, and how soft they look-

Before he notices it Changbin lays a hand on Felix’s neck and pulls him closer. Felix immediately shuts up, his eyes growing wider.

Changbin has never been more confident than in the moment he presses his lips to Felix’s. It’s nothing more than a short peck, just a few seconds of contact – Felix’s lips are as soft as they look – but to Changbin nothing could’ve been better.

“Happy Birthday, Felix,” he whispers into the shared air between them.

Felix’s face lights up with another beautiful smile, and Changbin is certain that there is no one in the world whom suits happiness better than Felix.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this ♥


End file.
